How to Plan a Great First Date to Really Get to Know Someone, Cville Style

One of my biggest beefs with dating is the traditional first date activity: go to a restaurant and sit down for a high-pressure “get-to-know-you” conversation with a semi-stranger. To me, there’s no more forced, socially awkward scenario for meeting a person you like, might like, was recommended by a friend, Tinder’d, Facebook’d, Skyped, Chat Roulette’d, or Craigslist’d. While meeting people might be easier, or more confusing, than ever, the requisite dinner date never seems like a comfortable way to get to know a new person one-on-one.

Charlottesville: a Great City for Date Activities

Maybe you like the standard date. Maybe I’m wrong about how socially draining it is! Maybe I’m a recluse! I usually recommend to my girlfriends to not be afraid to suggest a date idea, and to make it an activity in which they themselves have interest. So, here are my personal date tips for really getting to know someone, Cville style. If you’re not in Charlottesville, most of these will still apply or can be modified to fit your needs (substitute hiking for beach time if you’re in Florida, the flattest state).

Step One: Lean on Your Hobbies

A great relationship can’t be manufactured, but you can really cut out some future headaches if you find common interests early on. Dining at a restaurant isn’t a hobby for most people, so unless you plan on dining out a lot, there’s no real reason to base a first date on that. The best way to find out how you work together, how you play together, and to really get to know each other is, IMHO, to suggest a first date based on a hobby. Below, I’ve got a few categories with date suggestions that will hopefully hit the mark so that you can cut to the chase and find out if someone has what it takes to keep up with you, long-term.

Step Two: Don’t Be Afraid to Suggest a Date

I always tell my girlfriends not to be scared to ask a guy out or suggest a date. It’s intimidating for them too! Showing some initiative can take the pressure off the person you’re seeing. When you take the pressure off, you’re less likely to get an anxious stressball for a date and more likely to see the real person underneath.

Step Three: Pick Your Date Style

Are you sporty? Do you have your nose buried in books most of the day and love it? Are you just obsessed with a certain genre of film? Do you dig games and fun competition? Scroll down for suggestions based on each date type and don’t hesitate to suggest some dates if I forgot something!

Sporty Dates: Charlottesville and Northern Virginia have so many activities based on the great outdoors, it’s unbelievable. Sugar Hollow is one of the prettiest and least taxing hikes around town, with waterfalls and hidden trails if you’re feeling adventurous. If you’re a baseball or softball fan, you could always invite your date to one of the many parks and show off your batting skills! Substitute for soccer, football, etc.

The best part of the sporty date is that you don’t have to dress up! No makeup, sweat is expected, and you get to wear comfortable clothes. Talk about au natural.

If the cold weather gets you down, there’s always the tried-and-true gym rat date, where you get to be gym buddies for a little while.

Crafty Dates: If you like making things with your hands, the DIY date might be just the right option. It’s far more affordable than the dinner date, and way more hands-on. Painting classes are a great choice locally. The McGuffey Art Center often has exhibits, classes and workshops, and events. If viewing is more your speed, Kluge Ruhe Aboriginal Art Collection is a rare Australian art collection near Pantops, and admission is free!

Reading Dates: You. A book. Your date. Another book. There’s no sexier foursome :) If you don’t have an indoor fireplace with a bearskin rug to curl up on, suggest bringing a couple books you want to give away down to IX Art Park and exchange them at the tiny library there! You can pose near the giant butt, and maybe catch a concert at the brewery or just grab the new books and curl up on the swing sets. If reading in the same space seems too private, read to each other! You’ll learn so much about each other just by perusing the mystery selection and giving away a few books while you’re at it.

Gamer Dates: Your first question here is board games, card games, or video games. You’d be surprised how many great relationships have started over a ferocious game of gin rummy, blackjack, or Call of Duty. Pick your poison and see if your date can catch up! If you’re not comfortable with private time yet, Jack Brown’s on the Downtown Mall has trivia nights weekly. If you’re more old-school, Decades Arcade on Carlton Rd. is opne on the weekends and has consoles, arcade games, and foosball. There’s nothing more romantic than crushing buildings on Rampage!

All these dates sound awesome to me, but being a huge dork, I’ll take anything over the typical first date scenario. Getting to know someone is all about finding out what activities you can enjoy together. Bring on the fun!

A note on traditionalism: while a restaurant is a high-pressure activity for some, no one in the history of first dates has ever been upset by receiving flowers, whether it’s a lone daisy picked on the side of the road or a beautiful bouquet. If you prefer the latter, contact Fiori Floral Studio to chat with your Charlottesville florist, today!

Photo credit: Pexels (editorial photos 1 and 2), Suzy Hazelwood (3rd editorial photo)